The Desperate Men of Afghanistan

Have you noticed that most of the people trying to escape are men?

The first horrific images that flashed from Kabul’s airport were of thousands of men milling on the runway, surrounding the planes, grabbing onto them like lifeboats in a storm. The first casualties at the airport were men falling from those planes that they desperately were holding onto. The first executions by the Taliban were of nine men.

The men of Afghanistan have a lot to lose with the victory of the Taliban.

First, mostly men volunteered to fight and work with the Americans. The translators are mostly men. The Afghan special forces, which were particularly close to the United States, were the most effective fighting force in the old Afghan regime. They were almost totally men.

Second, men are desperate for jobs. Afghanistan is a patriarchal society, which means that men only get respect if they can take care of their families. In a patriarchal society, men are expected to bear the brunt of the risks.

Many of the men fleeing Afghanistan are braving an unknown and hazardous journey to make a place to which they can bring their families. That is how immigration happens in New York City. The largest portion of unregistered immigrants is men. They come first, then they bring their girlfriends, wives, and families.

Third, the Taliban vision of society is intertwined with a feudalistic one: village or tribal bosses call the shots. This means that the hopes and consciences of the individual men are dominated by their “lords.” The men of Afghanistan want the freedom to chart their own course, not what is dictated to them by their tribal potentates or even their grandfathers.

In late 19^th Century Germany, the sociologist Max Weber wondered why there were so many young Prussian male peasants leaving the prosperous farms to come to Berlin. On the surface, it might seem that they were coming for economic gain in this newly founded, fast-growing city. To his surprise, that wasn’t the reason the peasant men were coming. The reason was how dominated they were back in the village.

In the Prussian part of Germany (roughly, the eastern part of Germany), the lords had absolute rights, in theory, over the peasants. When they sold some land, the peasants went with it. The Prussian lords had first rights on the women before they got married to local peasant boys. The lords also had to approve all marriages. You get the picture: patriarchy really only worked for the lords.

The men of Kabul, Afghanistan know that the Taliban will want to kill them or send them back to the farm, where the local imams and lords will dictate their lives. A Muslim scholar here in New York reminded me to look at how the Taliban distort Islam with cultural traditions. The United States too often tolerated the traditional oppression of men in Afghan society, including, most notoriously, the rape of boys by some Afghan tribal leaders. One leader, one of our so-called allies, would always have a boy for a few years, wear him out sexually, then have him killed and thrown out into the scrap heap.

Is it any wonder that the men of Afghanistan are desperate to get out?

What can we do?

First and foremost, we need to work with the men to obtain jobs so that they can have a sense of respect from their wives and children. Most of the fleeing men will be hoping to create a stable place here to which to bring their families.

Second, in the case of Afghan refugees, we need to establish the right to family reunification.

Third, we need to as much as possible to bring whole families intact. (That does seem to be what we are doing.)

Fourth, we need to honor the bravery and values of the men who fought with the United States. We need to remember their deeds.

Fifth, we must do everything that we can to persuade the Taliban to protect the boys.

Sixth, remember that you read this first in A Journey through NYC religions. We have a New York City-centric audience, but this article should be passed around.

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Also, read “The Women of Afghanistan”.